I don’t know if it’s the perfectionist side of me or being a normal human-being, but I cannot stop trying to find an answer.
This wouldn’t be a problem if I could actually get one – but unfortunately – I’m pulling at straws at this point.
Based on your comments, many of you know others who have definitely benefited from acupuncture. I did see a lot of things about it here and there on the news but it’s mostly things like arthritis, stress, and other common things. I know it never hurts to try things but it kind of does hurt when you see oodles and oodles of money washed down the drain when something doesn’t work. This seems to always be the case for me and I just hate it – mostly because it’s not my money. The feelings of guilt increase significantly every day over money. Oof.
I realized the other day I have not taken a “rest” day for a long time; however, I really don’t do much on a given day so I guess my body cannot be hurting too bad from Blogilates/Tone- It-Up Girl’s workouts. This is kind of the frustrating things about reading blogs because I look at those who take one rest day a week while putting in Crossfit/70 + miles/etc. Meanwhile, I’m doing half-assed at-home workouts and feel as though my workouts are… Well, not really workouts. So, why would I need a rest day? However, I decided not to workout. I’m taking a break and it’s killing me.
One day and it’s already killing me. It’s hard to just… do nothing. It’s extra hard because my workouts were the only time I pretty much moved throughout the day. Normal people would at least be going to the store, walking outside, doing errands, etc. But nope, I’m parked on the couch. I found myself staring at the ceiling for at least four hours today. I was realizing there is no difference whether I was alive or not because I don’t interact with anyone at all. No one would even know if it weren’t for the newspaper. It’s kind of a harsh truth. No endorphins + two bad knees = one very unhappy Lauren.
I’m worried the stress I have caused my body from surgeries, disordered eating, family, and exercise really are causing my problems. I’ve tried researching it and I haven’t been able to find anything. Of course stress can make things worse but I don’t believe stress can cause my knee to fill up with fluid. UGH. I could just bake or something these next couple of days, but I know for a fact I wouldn’t eat any of it. It’s still an issue I’m facing in my stage of “recovery”… I’ll eat but it has to be essential foods not baked goods and all things delicious. Don’t get me wrong, I’ll eat what I bake but that’s if… Well, I actually bake it.
My mom said the key thing to me yesterday and it’s what is the worst part about this whole thing. “You have to be happy with what you eat, you can’t do it to please me.” However, I wouldn’t be eating if it were to please myself because I’ve already lost everything except for Elmo. Gah.
At least it is Sunday. And tomorrow is Monday which means I get to watch Kelly & Michael in the morning. The rest of you will be going to work like normal 23-year olds. You may wish you were at home – but take my word for it – It gets old fast. Be thankful for your job and enjoy the rest of your weekend!
What’s something fun you did this weekend?!
Do you ever have problems listening to your body as far as exercise?