The Resting Period

I don’t know if it’s the perfectionist side of me or being a normal human-being, but I cannot stop trying to find an answer.
This wouldn’t be a problem if I could actually get one – but unfortunately – I’m pulling at straws at this point.

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Based on your comments, many of you know others who have definitely benefited from acupuncture. I did see a lot of things about it here and there on the news but it’s mostly things like arthritis, stress, and other common things. I know it never hurts to try things but it kind of does hurt when you see oodles and oodles of money washed down the drain when something doesn’t work. This seems to always be the case for me and I just hate it – mostly because it’s not my money. The feelings of guilt increase significantly every day over money. Oof.

I realized the other day I have not taken a “rest” day for a long time; however, I really don’t do much on a given day so I guess my body cannot be hurting too bad from Blogilates/Tone- It-Up Girl’s workouts. This is kind of the frustrating things about reading blogs because I look at those who take one rest day a week while putting in Crossfit/70 + miles/etc. Meanwhile, I’m doing half-assed at-home workouts and feel as though my workouts are Well, not really workouts. So, why would I need a rest day? However, I decided not to workout. I’m taking a break and it’s killing me.

One day and it’s already killing me. It’s hard to just… do nothing. It’s extra hard because my workouts were the only time I pretty much moved throughout the day. Normal people would at least be going to the store, walking outside, doing errands, etc. But nope, I’m parked on the couch.  I found myself staring at the ceiling for at least four hours today. I was realizing there is no difference whether I was alive or not because I don’t interact with anyone at all. No one would even know if it weren’t for the newspaper. It’s kind of a harsh truth. No endorphins + two bad knees = one very unhappy Lauren. :-(

I’m worried the stress I have caused my body from surgeries, disordered eating, family, and exercise really are causing my problems. I’ve tried researching it and I haven’t been able to find anything. Of course stress can make things worse but I don’t believe stress can cause my knee to fill up with fluid. UGH. I could just bake or something these next couple of days, but I know for a fact I wouldn’t eat any of it. It’s still an issue I’m facing in my stage of “recovery”… I’ll eat but it has to be essential foods not baked goods and all things delicious. Don’t get me wrong, I’ll eat what I bake but that’s if… Well, I actually bake it.

My mom said the key thing to me yesterday and it’s what is the worst part about this whole thing. “You have to be happy with what you eat, you can’t do it to please me.” However, I wouldn’t be eating if it were to please myself because I’ve already lost everything except for Elmo. Gah.

At least it is Sunday. And tomorrow is Monday which means I get to watch Kelly & Michael in the morning. The rest of you will be going to work like normal 23-year olds. You may wish you were at home – but take my word for it – It gets old fast. Be thankful for your job and enjoy the rest of  your weekend!

What’s something fun you did this weekend?!
Do you ever have problems listening to your body as far as exercise?

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27 thoughts on “The Resting Period

  1. Girl, you can’t use the phrase “normal 23 year old.” That isn’t a thing! There is no such thing as normal! Try to find little bits of happiness in your life. Schedule a coffee date with a friend/family member! Get your nails done! Go to the library! Scrapbook! Find something that makes you feel happy and fulfilled and do that. Things WILL get better. Stay strong, keep your head up, and keep moving forward!

  2. I agree completely with everything Carly said! All the happy/fun things, no matter how little, do add up. I know the bad is far outweighing the good for you right now, and unfortunately there aren’t magic words that can really help. :( Just try to find something fun, happy, or positive, no matter how small, and go from there.

    I used to have problems listening to my body for exercise, but I’ve gotten a lot better about it over the last few years. My job has been keeping me very busy, so it has kind of done a 180 where I don’t get to exercise as much as I’d like sometimes rather than forcing myself to take a day off, then beating myself up for taking the day off even though I know it’s for the best.

    I hope you enjoy the rest of your weekend, too!

  3. I also agree there’s no such thing as “normal 23 year olds”. Yeah, I will be working tomorrow, but not going anywhere- still at the home, and yes, I will be watching trashy daytime TV while I work.

    Give yourself some grace on the working out and recovering. Your body has been through A LOT. Yes, there are people out there running 70+ miles a week and doing CrossFit, but it took them years to build up to that, not overnight .And while I go out and run, and run fast, I still look at anyone else out there even if they’re slogging along as a runner. Just doing something counts :). Yeah, maybe you do a DVD or something easy but you’re still doing something- just be good to your body with it.

    I haven’t tried acupuncture… but if you wanted to find it cheaper, I would suggest something like Groupon or Living Social. I’ve seen deals for it on those sites here so maybe your area has them too?

    • Daytime trashy TV for the win! Kelly & Michael/The Chew are my favorite things to watch during the day. You’re right with building up a workout but I feel like any movement just pisses off my body. And thank you so much for reminding me of Groupon! Great idea!

  4. Kudos to you! I could never take an absolute rest day. If you want to bake, you could always just sample then take it somewhere. Then you’d be interacting and not eating it all! I really hope you get better. It will come eventually. Really try to focus on the good in life! Like maybe you could be making things and sell them on an Etsy shop or something? Find something you like doing!

  5. http://fortheloveofkale.com/

    You should check this out! It might come at a really good time for you being injured? Working on our mental health is just as important!! It’s a goal of mine to be able to do this #restweek without totally flipping out in anxiety. Let me know what you think

  6. I’m going to have to echo what most of the other commenters have already said and say that there’s no such thing as normal, and the fact that you aren’t out there working or what have you doesn’t mean that your life is worth less than anyone else’s. I’ve been in your position – okay, maybe not trying to recover from a knee surgery, but trying to build up a broken body and being stuck at home, going out of my mind with boredom and feeling like my life wasn’t going anywhere at all. It was rough for sure, but there are still little things you can do to add some happiness to your life. Happiness is a choice – we’re all blessed with so many wonderful things, but we’ll never see that if we’re stuck focusing on the negative. Do your best to focus on your blessings… start a gratitude journal or write down something that was awesome about your day every night, and you might notice your attitude shifting to a happier one. Just don’t give up hoping that things will get better <3

    • If I try to write a gratitude list, I always end up getting more upset towards the end because I realize how short it is. I mean, the major points of it are my family/elmo. I’m definitely trying to give my body a rest because… I think it’s really just had enough right now so I’ll see if it helps or not. <3

  7. I have to add all the same things as all the previous commenters stated. And right now, I’m not working a job either. So we’re twins;)
    Unfortunately our problems are different. I’m still recovering from my ED, panic disorder, OCD, and all that fun stuff. And I understand the total relying on your parents for money and feeling bad, but guilt is such a waste of an emotion when you could feel blessed that your parents are able and willing to help you. You know, most of the people going crazy with workouts themselves probably need a lot of help, and may even be in this position but in later years to come. No ones bodies can handle that much stress for a very long time. Things will improve, you just need to have hope and keep up that positive energy and they will happen! I promise!:) Thinking of you lots!

    • You’re right with turning negative thoughts into positive ones. Although I do live with my parents and things are rough, at least I have them there. I’m hoping things get better but I suffer from anxiety, too, so it’s hard to just let things just… Well, happen. It scares me to not know what’s going on.

  8. Yep, me and rest days don’t do so well. The only time I actually feel ok taking a rest day is after a soccer game, and that’s usually because something is sprained, bleeding or too sore to move lol

    And normal? Girl, I got married at 20 years old and have been married almost 4 years now, so no, there is no such thing as normal lol I tell my husband all the time that I am NOT like other 24 year olds…AT ALL. I don’t drink (at all, never have) I don’t party (at all, never have), Id rather workout than sleep in, Im a huge tomboy who loves every sport, and I spend a lot of time alone, on my couch.

    But that’s normal TO ME. Whatever your normal is, is whatever you choose to make it :):)

    • This is true! Lol power to you for being married so young but whatever is right! :-) I do spend a lot of time on my couch but the thing is… it’s not normal for me. I used to be the person who went places or just went to a store to meander through the aisles.

  9. I know the other commenters have already said this, but I’ll say it again; there is no such thing as a normal 23 year old! I also struggle with feeling like I am not doing the things that others in their early 20′s “should” be doing. I had to take the semester off school to deal with my ED/anxiety/thyroid problems. So I’m not in school, I am not working, and I don’t go out and do much at all. I guess my point is that while it seems like everyone your age is going to school or working, that’s really not the case. There are plenty of people out there who are in similar situations. I know it’s rough, but try not to feel bad or guilty. And remember, the only expectations for you are the ones you place on yourself.

    Think of this as a short “time-out” from life to give your body and mind time to rest. In the meantime, try to fill your days with little things you enjoy (reading, being outdoors, playing with Elmo, etc). You will get back to your life, but in the meantime, try to stay positive!

  10. I’m going to agree with everyone… no such thing as normal 23-year-olds! I definitely feel like I can relate to not feeling normal, or like other people my age. It’s all about getting to where you want/need to be. Slowly, but surely. Remember all of the progress you’ve already made!

    As for rest days, I really believe in them! Just think about all of your muscles and your body repairing and getting stronger on rest days :)

  11. I don’t mean to be harsh and I appreciate your honesty about everything and realize that this blog really is your “therapy” or journal but as someone who has also struggled with eating disorders/depression/anxiety and more, but someone who also is in a great place, (therapy to myself was more beneficial than a professional) I like to remind myself that it could always be worse. Meaning, I feel for you that you are struggling with your knees and want answers and recovery but hey you have two legs, a supportive family, a adorable dog, a roof over ur head, food on your plate and clothes on your body. I don’t mean to be little your issues or say you don’t have aright to be angry and upset but at the same time take charge of your life and decide from here on out that you are going to focus on what you DO have and you are going to wake up and seize the day. Yesterday I ran a road race raising money for the first responders of Newtown who have not been able to return to work because of te emotional toll of seeing what they saw but they have run out of paid sick day and are thus not making money. During the 40mph winds and brutal hills I kept just picturing the parents of those little babies in my head and the hell they have gone through and continue to go through. One mom was saying last night (when a group of them were interviewed on 60 min) that everyday her goals are to simply get out of bed and get dressed, another said she kisses the container of her little sons ashes every am and asks him to be with her that day and then before bed prays to him to be in her dreams so she can spend just a few more minutes with her little angel. I don’t mean to get all deep and again be little your senario but I also think we are in charge of our own happiness and we can chose how our days, weeks, months go and what attitude we want to have.

  12. rest days are important! however it’s hard to take that into consideration especially when fitness is such an integral part of your life. even for me, when i know i’m over-training, it’s SO HARD to take a rest day because all i can think about is “when can i start lifting again?!”

    however, if you want to continue to workout, then take those rest days and let your body recover. easier said than done but get a good book, watch a great movie (or movies) and just enjoy this relaxing time.

    • I’m trying! And I’m planning/searching for workouts during my “rest” period. I’m only limited to certain things due to knee issues but I’m still reading about fitness-y things despite the rest!

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